get me a blanket...

If only problems can be solved by crawling underneath a blanket. I would be snugly curled up underneath at least 4 blankets. Maybe 6 for good measure.

Results came back today. Disappointing. And that would be an understatement. 3rd class it is. Grades remind me of years gone by, when non-A grades dominate. Maybe it's a reminder that as a teacher I should remember that grades aren't everything. Not the be all and end all. Grades are not the best gauge of a student. Far from it.

Still giving thanks for the results is far from easy. Not when I know that I could have done so much better. How do you give thanks when you cannot truthfully be thankful for what is given?

On another note, please don't force me to do what I don't want. Especially when I tell you I don't want to do it. Is it so hard not to impose your damn actions on others?

This is written with a my insides twisted up in a contorted mess.

concerned...

I am very concerned.

MOE has not sent me anything. Everyone else has received stuff. I hope they haven't forgotten about me. Please don't forget about me.

grey's anatomy...

I finally finished grey's anatomy. Woah, too many people died. Cannot wait for season 6.

cynical...

Last week, I was labeled cynical. Yesterday, during sermon, I wonder if I really am.

The guest preacher related a story about how his brother experienced God lying on a bed, unable to move or talk. I wondered if it could be true. If I could believe it. I wondered if I didn't believe if I was just cynical or if I was just harder to convince.

idols...

Another American Idol is crowned - Kris Allen. I spelt it correctly I hope. I wonder if he only won because everyone thought that Adam was going to win. I wonder if Kris is going to be another Idol on his way into the annuals of obscurity.

Look at so many before him. Sometimes not wining doesn't end a career. It merely lets you start earlier.

social responsibility...

I was left wondering about the social responsibility of Singaporeans when I read about this case of molest reported in the papers last week. It was reported that this lady who was molested on the MRT, tried to get passengers around her to help detain her molester. But no one came forward to help. Mind you, it wasn't an unearthly hour where no one was around. It was peak hour.

I was left wondering if I would have went up to help her.

Yesterday night, on the way home from Primers' Council, there was a slight incident on the bus. There was this Chinese lady and this "older" Caucasian man. They were obviously arguing. While no fist-fight ensued, the man smelt like one beer too many, you never would have predicted what would happened. The weirdest thing was, the bus was relatively packed, when the man raised his voice, the rest of the bus raised their volume to drown him out. Half of me was mildly amused. It was like they were trying to cover up the ongoing argument.

Back to the point, if ever the man had hit the lady, would I have stood up to stop it? I must admit that I have witnessed many a case of people infringing on other people's rights. I could have stopped them, but it seems my own convenience overwrote the social responsibility that should have been upheld.

I wonder if I would have gone up to help her.

angles and demons...

I watched Angels and Demons yesterday. It wasn't that bad. It might be because I cannot remember what exactly happened in the book. it's been a long time. So I'm going to reread it when I get it back tomorrow.

If you hadn't read the book, go watch it. There's enough action to keep the movie going at a good pace and the twist in the end is typical Dan Brown. Yea, it means the twist is good.

fly areoplane...

Nine is too early,
Especially on a Sat,
To have your plane flown.

I've decided to express myself in a haiku.

I took about 5 minutes to come up with this, I'm quite impressed. Haha.

I think very few people will know the the exigence for this. Nothing too bad. Just lost sleep and a further reinforcement of the bad impression that I have of some people.

sleepless...

It's not often that I'm unable to sleep. In fact, I cannot really remember when this has actually happened. So this explains the entry at 1ish in the morning.

I wonder if I'm unable to sleep because thoughts keep running through my head. I recall a recent peanuts strip that has Charl*ie Brown telling his sister who cannot sleep that what he does is to just lie there and worry. Sally goes back lie down but instead of worrying of stuff happening to herself, she worries about things that might happen to Charl*ie. She comes back, tells Charl*ie all her worries and this causes Charl*ie to be unable to sleep.

I wonder if I'm unable to sleep because I have thoughts running through my head or I run thoughts through my head because I'm unable to sleep. I've been lying there for about an hour. There are other things to do I guess.

cannot string words together...

The government should be happy. I cannot string a proper string of words together in hokkien. Today, an old man approached me to ask if I could read a banner declaring that the government run kindergarten was registering. That I could do in my broken hokkien. However, when he asked if it was for next year or the year after, I found it beyond my vocabulary to try to explain that there were different levels available which explains why they were registering kids born from 2004 to 2007. I could understand him, but I could hardly convey to him what I wanted to say. I tried Mandarin, but all he replied was that the banner did not explain that. It was frustrating to say the least. Embarrassing at most to say that I've lost my roots.

When I told mom this, she said that we use to be able to converse in hokkien and teochew. And if dad had been willing to teach his second language, I be able to speak Malay too. My mom said that by speaking to us in English, she improved her English as well. I guess knowing how to speak a language doesn't prove that I'm well-rooted in my culture or roots. Or that not being able to speak these languages makes me less than what I am today. But imagine, I could have been able to converse well in all these languages. Knowing them would have made reaching out to people so much easier.

holidays...

I need to find something cathartic to do.

It's got to be meaningful too I guess.

Freedom till the 22 June.

presents...

Haha, another birthday present. A bowl. I don't know why they got me a bowl but here it is. But I appreciate it. Timbre was fun.

This bowl is made in France. Haha. So why are the following instructions all in Japanese?


Something interesting happened while I was on the way home. This Japanese man alighted at the Holland bus stop that and approached me asking if either 75 or 61 had passed. Since I was waiting for either buses and I was clearly still at the bus stop, I told him no. I think he was worried that he might have missed the last bus. But soon after, a 165 arrived and he boarded it.

It left me thinking why he had asked me for buses that he wasn't going to take. so weird.

end of a saga...

Are you aware that the Aware saga is over? If you haven't, honestly, WHERE have you been? I probably need to go there. Exams hasn't ended

In a total dramatic turn of events, after a month, the old exco has managed to reclaim what they have lost. This sounds so much better than: the new exco has been usurped. Too much drama.

Well, at least it turned out to be a good thing. Aware probably got more publicity from this than they could ever hope for. And membership rose by 1000%.

First of all, Aware is a secular group. They can believe that batting for the other team is a perfectly fine lifestyle choice. It's not as if Aware has any allegiance to any one religion which overtly states that this is wrong/forbidden/condemnable. They are free to raise/support/perpetuate any view they decide would best help themselves. Any one group that feels otherwise that decides to infiltrate and oust the current leadership in hope of change should know that this is not acceptable behavior. Over the past month, it was been clearly demonstrated.

Perhaps this may be a clearer example. Perhaps one day, a random person feels that The Boys' Brigade, a Christian organisation, has lost it's foremost aim of benefiting Boys with it's activities. This person gathers support and comes in, and oust the current leadership and claims the organisation. This random person happens not to be a Christian and uses his own religion's teachings to set up the new constitution.

Is this fine? If you accepted what the recently oust exco's stand that the old Aware had lost its focus and they are the new direction that the organisation needs, then you should think what I just described to be perfectly fine. But I bet that most people would disagree, that what I've just described is totally unacceptable.

Just as we (Christians) don't expect people of other religions to hijack a Christian organisation, we shouldn't orchestrate a hostile takeover of a secular organisation. All because of differing beliefs. I often wonder what the reaction of well meaning Christians should be. But too often, I'm sad to say that good intentions are only truly good if the means to achieve have been thoughtfully considered and carried out.

Again, take the Aware saga, $90k in a month. Good intentions without any seemingly rational thought.

laggard...

Do you know what a laggard is? Well that's someone who doesn't use the latest technology in their lives. And according to a certain reporter friend, I'm one. Because I don't twitter.

Well, I don't twitter. Many people don't even want to have anything to do with faceb*ook. What's wrong with not twittering? I don't see the need to constantly update the world with my personal opinion.

So, I'm a laggard. Big whoop.

birthday...

Celebrating my birthday has never been an important part of my life. It's probably due to the fact that my own family's not really big on celebrating. A meal will probably be the most we'll do, typical conservative Chinese family I guess.

Well, thanks to Fa*cebook, it seems alot more people know about the birthday this year. I want to believe that without Faceb*ook, many of you would still remember. So thanks to the many many people who said happy birthday. And it's still happening occasionally today. Don't need to apologize, I appreciate it anyway.

I got a present form SQ, and as promised, I'm blogging about it. Well, first of all, SQ doesn't give presents to anyone, only really special people and girls. Since I'm not a girl, I know I'm a really special person. Here is a picture of the present.

It's a V for Vendetta comic. Yea, the comic that the movie was based on. I loved the movie by the way. Yes, after reading the book, I'll probably think the book is way better. I don't really read comics. And technically, this is a graphic novel. But I'm quite excited, I mean, graphic novels touch on many things that are considered taboo. Look at Watchmen.

So thanks to all those who said happy birthday and for those who gave presents. Gratitude is immortalized on this blog.