irate...

This kindergarten kid in the lift just called me uncle.

Getting old on the outside.

400th post...

It took awhile. 3 years, 6 months and 12 days to be exact.

This is the 400th post.

chapter 7...

Well, it took long enough but I have finally finished the next bit of the story. It has been sitting on the desktop for months now.

= ~ =

Waiting for father to gather his thoughts proved to be more nerve-racking than John had expected. Sitting in the chair next to the bed, many random thoughts filtered in and out of his mind, spreading anxiety more than anything else. Deep breaths didn’t seem to help. His heartbeat would only grow steadily faster.

Father reached out his frail hand, searching for a modicum of warmth. John stared, undecided if he should embrace. After what felt like an eternity, father let his hand slump back onto the bed. Clearly, the moment of physical exertion had exhausted father considerably. Realising his imprudence, John tried reaching out, only for father to retract his hand under the sheets. Nothing could be worse for his anxiety.

Aunt Mee witnessed all that she could take, glided out the door and closed it firmly behind her. Within the privacy of the room, John held his own hands and waited for his father to start speaking.

“John, sorry…” the first words that John heard father speak after more than a decade was his name. But like the decade that had past, it too sounded empty and unfulfilling. .

“You do not know how much joy you brought when we found out that your mother was expecting. However, right form the beginning we had no idea what to do with you. We were not prepared to raise you.”

John remained silent. What was there to say? Father must have more sense left in him then to expect John to accept him apology there and then.

As if reading his mind, father continued, “I never expected you to accept the decisions that we have made for you over the years. When we sent you away, we thought it would be easier. But… but it wasn’t. Your mother, she took it badly. She blamed herself for not trying harder to be a better mother.” Father eyes had glazed over once more as he let himself be absorbed into his memories.

Father’s lips continued to move. I stared entranced. Sometimes all I could do was watch the lips move. The words meant nothing to me. Father drifted in and out of his memories but the story was consistent. My parents were sorry.

“Finally, we decided to bring you home. Imagine your mother’s happiness. She was thrilled at the prospects of a second chance. I remembered she held you for such a long time when you finally arrived that day.” John remembered it vividly. He had remembered it well, too well. John did not find any warmth in that embrace. Only a pair of stifling arms that lasted far too long.

“However, we didn’t embrace our second chance as much as that embrace that your mother gave you. You were there physically but you never seem to be there when we tried to talk or play with you. You never seemed to like any of the things we did with you nor the things that we bought you. You always looked so stifled in the house. Yet you never seem to want to leave the house.” John tried to remember what his parents tried to do or bought for him during that period. But nothing came up. Physically, he was there. However, his mind had long eloped with his imagination.

“When you finally ran away, I was so relieved. You finally left the house. I gathered you had finally decided for yourself what you wanted. I was actually happy. Of course I couldn’t let you mother know that.”

“Right,” John finally spoke.

John’s reply tipped father out of his memories but all it seemed to have achieved was to produce a mildly shocked expression at John’s inconsiderate sudden interruption.

“I understand you were sorry, but what about the things that happened after I ran away?” John tried his best to not sound impatient.

“Well you choose a good time to interrupt me then,” Father tried his best to not be sarcastic.

“You must know why you have returned. The men in our family had always had a gift, to turn up when the time was ripe. You choose to come home at this time. It signals a change to come. It signals the end of my time but before I can rejoin your mother in the eternal realm. There are businesses to be completed.”

John heaved his body forward trying to make sense of what his father had just said. John leaned forward with a slight curious look. His father saw it and continued.

“You will take over the family business. You think all this wealth comes from doing nothing?” Father emphasized the word wealth like it was dirty.

“I will sign the documents tomorrow. The lawyers will be here at ten in the morning.” Father was now looking directly at John, his eyes, no longer glazed, but they sparkled with an anticipation of the future.

“Now leave me, I need to rest.”

John stood up and looked as his father closing his eyes and drifting into slumber. So this was all that his father had to say: an apology and a payoff. John had not realised, but this was the manner that his father conducted his business.

There was not much of a revelation, many questions were left unanswered. But John did not mind, he was never one that dwelt too much on the past. Still, perhaps the answers to those questions might prove useful in answering the questions had been added to the list.

going deaf...

I think i'm going deaf. I can hear alright, but it seems I cannot make out what people are saying. So if I happen to smile and say, "yaaaa... right..." you know I just didn't hear you.

alternate universe...

I always wondered how I would have turned out if I didn't make the decisions that I had made all throughout my life. M*o didn't help when he talked about math and physics and how one of them applied to our world.

I was dreaming about how I was 'conscripted' into the choir in primary 4. and how I decided to just leave after syf. I think it was syf. Haha. What if I had stayed in the choir? Would I have joined the BB in secondary school? Would I have opened up as much? Would I have experienced God?

If I had stayed in the choir, I would have stayed the nice naive kid that I was because I wouldn't have met all the people who helped me open up to the world. Sounds weird.

If I had stayed in the choir, I dunno, I might still be in choir?

a quilt...

Have you watched the movie How to make an American Quilt? I just did on HBO. Yes, I am quite troubled by the fact that I'm watching cable movies on my day off. Not too good use of my seemingly limited time.

But I think it was a really good movie. It was a jumble of stories of a jumble of women who live in this town. All the women's stories revolve around their love lives and the mistakes that they've made when they were younger. All the women are related to each other in some part of their lives.

Just like a quilt, it only makes sense when the stories all come together to help Finn (the main character) regain her belief in love and marriage.

If you have time, watch the movie.

age limits...

I didn't know mayo had age limtits.

rightly insulted...

There is currently this case with this lawyer, I think his name starts with a N, and this judge, her name starts with a B. Well, it's about a case of how this lawyer insulted the judge by calling her, I cannot remember exactly, but I think it went something like prostitute of the ruling party.

I think in today's boardsheet, you'll find an article in which the lawyer claims that he couldn't have insulted her as it would only have been an insult if the statement were false.

It got me thinking. Can this statement be true? That it can only be an insult if the statement were false? The lawyer claimed that the definition of 'insult' from dictionary.com, a website I frequent really often, is 'to treat or speak to insolently or with contemptuous rudeness; affront.' The lawyer added that it must also be untrue. Although I couldn't find where in the world he had managed to convince himself that that is part of the definition.

If that definition were true, we would soon have an obsolete word in 'slander'.

Well. Back the the topic at hand. Can we insult and get away with it just because it's true? I seriously do not think so. Just because people do stupid things, doesn't give you the right to call them stupid, does it? I thought the lawyer just shot his mouth off and now he's in a tad of a tight spot. However, that doesn't mean it gives me the right to call this lawyer a loose cannon who is suffering from verbal diarrhea. I might be right, but it's still speaking insolently with contemptuous rudeness, in other words, being insulting.

army...

My brother is entering army tomorrow.

another weekend...

I must say that after Friday's presentation, a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. Now all I have to do is wait for the feedback from the class as well as La*zar. The presentation went well enough. Took longer than I expected and I gave more politically incorrect examples than I thought I could.

It has really been quite a forgetful week. I mean I was forgetful. The week was memorable enough. I mean I broke my slippers in school. Had to walk around tightly gripping my slipper. Face*book declared I was "no longer listed as single" and 'concerned' friends started asking questions. The company won 4th, 8th and 10 placing at CQ.

Back to forgetting, I also forgot that I had to attend CQ camp on Tuesday and Wednesday. I only remembered on Tuesday night at 11.30pm. I almost forgot to bring Be*n's present today. Had to go back up the lift to get it. And now, I cannot really remember why I started blogging. Maybe, it's really old age catching up with me.

But the title has fortunately the title has reminded me what I wanted to write about. A totally awesome weekend. Weekend started with a fun time with the English Majors on Friday evening. Followed by a great Saturday throwing tennis balls and rounding it off with a nice afternoon of ice cream at Hartos.

I will also like to say that I had forgotten to take back the printer ink form JinH*an after Friday. Another proof of my old age.

slippers...

my slippers broke today in school...