first steps...

I have officially taken the first steps to becoming a teacher. I have finally submitted the NIE application. I hope they choose me.

the meaning of those words...

I've always wondered why people blog and lines of songs turn up somewhere. Well, this means I'm going to do it too, but I guess only I will really know what the lines of the song means to me. But honestly, there isn't much meaning behind it. It was the song that was playing when I was doing QT in the canteen on Thursday.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me
All that I'm meant to be?

It's from Daughty's - What About Now? And it just happens that QT was about how we should just deal with today's problems today and not worry about tomorrow's problems. There's no point in worrying about tomorrow. The grace that is given, together with our own abilities, will be sufficient to deal with anything. There is no problem too big to be dealt with.

Today's grace will be sufficient for today's problems. Faith brings everyone a long way.

what i learnt today...

Actually I intended to do this yesterday, but the title will remain the same. Yesterday, I learnt that you cannot intentionally like something. Liking is an involuntary reaction that cannot be deliberate. Making it deliberate no loner makes it liking.

And something that I noticed today. While i was in the canteen, I realised that the cleaner aunties have taken many, more than 3, to prevent birds from landing at the utensil return stations to pick up scraps. Anyway, one of the methods that have been exercised has been the dangling of plastic chains to prevent birds from flying into the collection stations. While I admit it is quite effective, I didn't see any birds. It is quite a dirty approach. The dangling chains often scrap across or fall into the leftovers that is being returned. I noticed that the chains were all stained or looked to have food scrapes left on them. I tred my hardest not to touch them.

never exciting the next time round...

I thought I should just post something. I haven't posted anything recently.

School has started. It's not that exciting. I ffg-ed again. [filed for graduation] It's something that you have to do in Arts. Again because i did it before at the end of year 3. It really wasn't as exciting as the first time.

I did forget to bid for tutorial slots this time. When was the last time I had to bid for tutorial slots for English mods? I cannot remember, probably for the level 2000 mods. Yea, that means 2 years ago. Well, I've done that, but was totally excited by the prospect of not having tutorial. Then again, there are only 9 people in the class. What's the possibility of not getting the slot? Impossible. Yea, that's about right, impossible.

I have finally applied for NIE. Well, it's more like the website has finally let me in. Well, I've practically filled in this this couple of times before. SO yea, not exciting as well. Was stumped at the 500 word description of your own achievement. Have no idea what to write. Need something really good. That might be exciting. It better be.

Looks like life is falling into place. I need to find time to QT.

new year...

It's been how long? Six days. Yea, it took six days for me to realize that the new new has started. Actually, it didn't take six days. But, nothing prominent actually happened that could herald in or even signal the coming of the new year.

I think the new year will only truly sink in when school starts. I need to start thinking about my ism. Wondering what I really could write. I realize some of the sentences in the entry seem weird and misformed.

I had a weird dream last night.

decisions...

I must say that I am very bad when it comes to making decisions. Especially the important ones that affect my future.

Not really knowing what I want doesn't help at all. As of now, most of the important decisions in my life are sadly, mostly not made on my own accord. Most are influenced and affected by the people around me. Not saying that is anything bad in itself. I can only recall one decision that I have made totally on my own, to major in English. And that happened 4 years ago.

I take very long to consider my choices. That's not to say I actually consider the pros and cons of anything. I just take very long not thinking about it, trying to let it take its course, hoping it pans out on its own. WELL, I can hope.

It's going to be graduation soon and I need to think about what I want to do for a substantial part of my life after academics, if not the rest of my living life. I feel kind of sick just thinking about having to think about it.

I wonder if there is a general thing that I can do. If only there is.