my being...

I wonder if the bitterness of where I am have unfortunately seeped into my being.

freed...

Blog posts can be so emo sometimes. There is this blog that I follow. And usually when she documents about her own life, it's about something bad. It usually prompts me to ask her if anything's wrong. But she usually says that there's nothing really wrong. She's just venting. Writing the bad things down seem to make them better. I would agree. It helps. But talking about it really helps.

Not on the blog, I mean in real life. Today, I related the story in the previous post at BS and it helped. It is cathartic. It made it feel less important. It made it let go of its strangling grip around my neck that makes me so edgy. Then again, some people would say that I'm usually edgy. That's some people.

I feel like I can go back to that island. Without that itching urge to set the place on fire.

theory of concepts...

The institute where I'm at, is an institute of concepts and theories. After thinking about it, I've decided that it's not really the tutors' fault for asking those kind of questions. After all, she's just doing her job. Instead, I am disgusted by the institute for mandating what is allowed to be taught.

The emphasis on theories and concepts irk me.

That might be too mild.

The emphasis makes me want to vomit. It makes me want to vomit and burn the vomit. Yes, it seems like I cannot express myself. But it's alright. Apparently, they don't seem concern in teaching me that. They emphasize on theories and concepts.

Concepts and theories are not real. Most aren't anyway. Most theories and concepts are a thought. A description of a thought on how things work. How really does that make us better at what we are going to do? I really don't know, maybe to the institution, all these work in their theoretical world. AND since it does work in their world of theories, it must definitely work in the world we are getting sent into. Yes... that must be it.

So, if you delight in reading and crediting people for the concepts and theories that have been written about, you will fit in at my institute. It is literally FOR you. If you are practical, they would pat you on the back and appreciate your effort. But they wouldn't believe you, because your practicality isn't backed up by a, quote "dead white man's name" end quote.

The reason given for needing to know these concepts is because we are practitioners of these concepts and theories. Since when did I sign up to be a practitioner of your theories and concepts? I certainly don't remember that. If I did, I'm sure the urge to vomit and burn something would have stopped me. I'm not denying that these concepts and theories might one day come in handy in dealing with the client, BUT please, if everything could be solved by reading up on a theory, the world wouldn't be in the state it is right now. The world is definitely not an idealistic fly-ridden island. So wake up from your fantasy and actually do something about it.

I want to vomit onto the idealistic theories and burn them. So if you happen to be an airy, half-hung in the air theory, don't come near me. Especially if you belong to that fly-infested island that thinks to highly of itself.

P.S.
If you happen to belong to an institute and you get offended by this, it only means 2 things.
Either you are paranoid and think I'm talking about you. Or, you are over-sensitive and think I'm talking about you.

(500) days of summer...

If you want to watch something that doesn't end the way you might imagine. Watch 500 days of summer. When they declared that it wasn't a love story right at the beginning, I was thinking that at the end they'll probably just tweak the statement to make some sort of exception.

SPOILER!!

The 2 main characters don't get together in the end. You think that they would, but then they don't.

END OF SPOILER!

The way that the movie moved from one scene to the other was kinda nice too.

For weird reasons, I feel that I haven't really expressed myself. It might be due to the fact that I cannot find one last stupid source for the sources assignment.

WHERE art thou source!?!?!?

week of gentleness...

Well, it's been one week. And it went quite well. I had some plans to extend it... to maybe life long? Maybe...

But I saw something that kinda broke the week of gentleness rule. We went to Chun Tin after BS today and went we were leaving, I saw a BMW Z4. And it was shiny purple. Shiny GLITTER purple.

I said, "Shit ugly."

So much for extending.