last day of the year...

It's the last day of the year, so I thought that an entry would be fitting.

First off, a dream. But the problem is I couldn't remember much about the dream. All I can remember is that it was uneventful and normal. It was as normal as normal can be. Therefore, it makes it abnormal. If you know, my dreams are hardly ever normal. Usually, dreams are weird and crazy.

I finally got around to clearing my load of army stuff. Which is good. The load of army stuff lying everywhere was getting a tad depressing.

Anyway, back to the point of the entry, the LAST day of the year. And what do most people do at this time of the year? Meet up with people, many people. So that's what I did. I met up with a couple of the English majors. First, we went to support Jin*Han's cousin at EastCoastParkMac. Ji*nHan's cousin is Peter Draw. Weird name, but it's a pen name and he really draws well. He was drawing caricatures for 24 straight hours to raise money for Habitat for Humanity. I got my picture drawn. It's actually quite good.

Well, after EastCoastParkMac, we headed down to Orchard for dinner. We ended up at NeeAnnCity and while waiting for the rest to arrive, we hung around Kino. I'm always intrigued with the collection that Kino has. Especially in the Self-help and Philosophy sections. Anyway, was browsing around and I came upon a book titled, "What not to say at..."

In the book it has topics and comments that are not generally accepted at certain social events. Events such as graduation, funerals and dinnertime. Has society degraded to an extent that we need to buy a book to tell us what not to blurt out at a specific social event? If you need this book to help you in the area of conversational topics, I feel sorry for you. If you need this book, you'll probably need another book, a book that will help improve your social skills. I'm not saying I'm perfect with my conversational skills, I admit I say many things without first thinking through the many consequences that might follow. But if people actually have to turn to a book like this for help, I think people should stop interacting on the Internet and start interacting in real life.

Nothing beats real life interaction and conversations. So I think this is the lesson for 2007. With 5 hours left, if you haven't made some sort of resolution, I encourage you to interact less online and more offline.

Have a GREAT NewYear. Seeya all in the new year!

tying up the year...

Okie, I had actually wanted to blog about something, but I forget. So i'm just going to write and hope I just write about it.

Firstly, my reservist is very good. If you infer good as slack then so be it, but I will not explicitly say it. Today we took our IPPT. As usual, I failed. Quite demoralising. Need to really do something about it. Somehow I still feel abit out of place at ICT.

Oh, I remembered what I wanted to blog about. I had just finished The Kite Runner. Actually, I finished it last week. I say it was a great read. Made me want to tear when all those people died. Makes you wonder about all the expectations that your parents have of you. Or more aligned with the book, the lack of expectation that your parents have of you. If you want to know more about the book, you can come talk to me. Or you can wait till the movie comes out. But I don't think I'll catch the movie, it's definitely going to spoil the book.

And the other thing is "I am Legend" is not really that great a show. Nat, if you are reading this, I'm sorry, but your "review" of the movie is misleading. Actually, there are many things about the movie I want to talk about, but I'm tired and I want to sleep, haha, so next time if I remember.

reservist...

Amazingly, I'm blogging. Yea, I'm suppose to be locked up in a ulu camp somewhere. But I'm not. Fortunately, this lowkey ICT is like super lowkey.

So anyway, it was fun. Fun in an army way, not the 'haha' kind of way.

before the storm...

Firstly, Blessed Christmas to all my readers. This Christmas has been great.

I had wanted to write a Christmas-y story. However, it turned out that I was a tad too busy to even blog. Hence, I haven't even done the yearly reflections yet.

Tomorrow is officially one of the worst days ever, tomorrow, is the first day of the first in camp training. Fortunately, it's only 3 days. Most of my stuff are kinda moist. Dang, need to totally dry them when I get back on Friday. I will take time during these 3 days to think of my reflections as well as the Christmas story.

Tomorrow is also the day that results are released. Being at army makes it hard to check, but I hope they go well. Tomorrow's results will decide whether it's 6months or 18months.

Next week is going to be the rest week. I hope I can get some rest. I hope I get to come home everyday of army as well. Will post again on Saturday.

responsibility is not mine...

Well, another packed week has ended. Packed might have been an understatement. This week was spent at SGB and at Youth Camp.

Youth Camp was actually fun. It was fun because I've forgotten how fun it actually is to attend camp. Camp is always fun, especially when I've no responsibility and especially since I don't have to look after/out for anyone. Derr*ick agrees. I'm sure most of the BB officers will also agree.

Stuff I did at camp included:
1. Entertaining/irritating younger people.
2. Meeting new people.
3. Playing many brainless games.
4. Losing my voice.
5. Falling sick.
6. Dragon boating.
7. Making a raft.
8. Flying fox.
9. Abseiling.
10. Rock Climbing.
11. Sitting through 3 talks.
12. Give medical advice.

Yea, I realised that some of the things that we did sounds like things that we would do at BB camps. The difference is that in Youth Camp, I got to do them. Everything except Number12 is done cheerfully.

So I think for all people that are tired of going for camp because you have too much responsibility at camps, I encourage you to go for Church Camps and just be participants. When you are not responsibility is not yours, not fully anyway, you'll get to enjoy the fun-ness of camp.

So the key word for Youth Camp is Awful. Yes, that's right, Awful (it's not a typo). Youth Camp is Awful, Full of Awe! It was Awe-inspiring, Awesome and Awe-mazing!

based on relevant events...

Well, felt like writing. So I did. I realised that I stopped posting some chapters in between the last time I wrote and this chapter. So if some things doesn't connect, then I can't really help it.

= ~ =

“A family’s not COMPLETE without children!” the words screamed at me as I read. The happy family depicted stared contently back at me.

I stared at the poster in front of me. I could not understand the tag line. It meant nothing to me. In fact all my life, I could never understand what it meant to be in a happy family.

My parents were not the most responsible pair. They were what you could call the negative example of everything they did. It was just an unfortunate turn of events that lead me to be conceived and borne into the world. However, upon entering the world, I was on the way out again. My parents left me on the doorstep of my Uncle and Aunt.

Uncle Tee and Aunt Mee were not bad foster parents. In fact the house they lived in was a safe haven for unwanted babies and children. They had a gift of taking in children and raising them to be proactive members of society. What more could an unwanted child ask for?

However, with me, it was different. I wasn’t particularly a fussy child, but I was a child that got into more than my fair share of trouble. Actually, truth be told, I got into more trouble more times than most children would get into their entire childhood. I was also the only reason my Uncle and Aunt ever quarrelled.

“He’s gotten into trouble again.” My Aunt would inform my Uncle when the letter from school came.

“Right.” My Uncle replied half-heartedly.

“Is that all you’re going to say? YOU were supposed to help raise him as well you know.” Aunt Mee stressed the ‘you’ in an effort to try to emphasize her point.

“It’s not just my responsibility. You agreed to take him in as well. You agreed to take him in knowing the baggage that came along, the difficulties that we will have to face with him.”

They don’t know this, but I heard every word that they said that night. I happened to be conveniently sneaking out of my room that night. I decided to go back to my room that night, but that wasn’t the start a new less troublesome life. In fact, it triggered even more extreme actions. A week later, I was sent away. Abandoned for a second time, it does wonders for one’s self esteem.

Life then was a series of movements from one home to another, none lasting for more than a quarter of a year. The various traumatic deeds that I committed helped. It was only after I turned 12 did my parents call for my return. They thought that at 12 I would have mellowed and independent to look after my own needs. And if ever I had any needs to be met, the domestic help would be there.

My parents weren’t the disciplining type. I was given all the freedom to do everything and anything I wanted. But after I returned home, I lost the thrill that came with getting in trouble. I was the perfect child, unseen and unheard. Neither being good nor bad had ever elicited a positive response from the adults in my life. Then came my seventeenth birthday when I started my 3 year trip.

“John!” a crisp clear voice called my name. Shaken out of my memories, I turned to see Uncle Tee standing next to the car waving at me, beckoning me to come. I took a last look at the poster, turned and walked toward the car. The thought of the poster was regulated to the back of my mind, being dismissed as utter rubbish.

The only thing that ever received a positive response from the adults of my family was growing up. To me, being an adult was good, a child was bad.

the first day of the rest of my life...

Today started with baptism. It marks the first day of the rest of my life, my Christian life.

It was good.

Today ended with Thanksgiving. It marks the end of the year, mostly. There's still SGB.

It was okie.

Then there were the arrows. Actually, arrows were fine. It's the fact that the arrows had blunt and vague points that really pricked me. I think the wayward arrows really screwed up a perfectly wonderful day.

the same difference...

Being with teenagers is actually quite fun. But trying to understand them is not. Being a teenager is not easy, so maybe I shouldn't complain as much. But yea, I will, otherwise there's nothing interesting else to write.

All kids want to be to the same while they want to be different. All kids want to be different while they want to be the same. It's the same difference.

All teenagers want to be accepted. Nobody wants to be left out. And kids will do and endure many stupid things to be accepted. I did some when I was younger, but nothing really as extreme as what I see now. Well, there is actually nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted. being accepted is a good thing.

But other than being accepted. Everyone wants to be different. Well, maybe different is not too accurate. Kids all want to be special enough to be individual. No one likes it when someone shadows them everywhere. They want to be the first to do something and keep the activity to a few people. When too many people start doing it, it just gets lame and people stop doing it.

In the movie the Incredibles, the mother tells Dash, the son, that everyone is special. Dash replies that it's the same as saying that nobody is special. While it is true, I think most kids rather not be special and just be accepted. It's the same difference. Being accepted is just as important as being the one that is different, to be the one that speaks out and points out. To be the one that starts the revolution and getting your clique follow you and doing the same thing.

After being through LDC2 this weekend, it just reinforces this. All kids want to be to the same while they want to be different. All kids want to be different while they want to be the same.

It's the same difference.

6th dec...

What's so special about today?

It's the first and last paper of this semester. So today marks the end of the semester. I cannot believe that another semester has come and gone. Now all we can do is to while the days away while waiting the dreaded grades to be released. Honestly, I'm not too sure when the grades are coming out. I'm sure some people will ask when that day comes.

Today's paper was tough, I thought more people would leave, but I only saw 2 people walk out early. For an open book MCQ, it was tough, I'm seriously wondering if it's due to the fact that I didn't study some of the concepts as deeply as I should have. But really, some of the terms, I've never seen before in my life. Haha, what's the use of having an open book exam if you cannot set weird stuff that you've never seen before.

Some other things that I've never seen before include people carrying into the exam hall more than one biology textbook and this guy who was reading the newspaper while the paper was being collected. I wonder what he was doing during the paper.

Well, like all holidays, there should be some things that I need to do. Some of these things include stuff like reading. There are a many books that I want to read. Stuff like "his dark materials" (Yea, some of you are thinking, "Isn't that bad?") And, narnia... And, kite runner... there should be some more... I feel like watching a couple of movies as well.

Now I feel like sleeping. Need to rest up for the slackness to come.

I realised that I have not blogged about Annual Camp. But looking at some of the Sec2s, somehow, it was comforting, I know that the future is potentially bright.

exam stress...

I have a problem with exam stress, or more specifically, a lack of it. Having 4 non-examinable modules isn't as great as everyone makes it out to be. Having the only exam on the last 2nd day of exams doesn't help a great deal either. Basically, my problem is that I have started my holidays. Therefore, studying is quite... impossible.

2 days to exams and I'm only done with 3 of the 12 lectures. I'm so fortunate that it's 60 MCQs and open book. If I were required to write in prose, I might be blogging more to practice.